Whether you are new to the dating game or you’re a regular, the same question seems to come up – when to have sex. How long do you wait for that first kiss? When should that hot and heavy make out session take place? How will you know when it’s the right time for sex? All valid questions.
It seems baby boomers are much more likely to wait to have sex than those in their 20s and 30s. This is especially true for those who have lived through the sexual revolution and are already aware that a sexual relationship can leave you with emotional scars.
Professionals recommend waiting as long as possible. Sometimes the heat of the moment has us acting, and then regretting it later. It’s ironic that many women decide the next day they don’t even like the person, but in that moment, it all seemed right. Of course, you shouldn’t take the approach that one answer is the right answer for everyone. The time for sex is really when it feels right to you and your partner. Sex too soon, can muddy the waters and cause complications in the relationship.
You should also talk to yourself about it. Be honest with yourself about how important you feel sex is, whether you are ready to get into a sexual relationship, or whether you would like to wait, and what your physical and emotional boundaries are. For example, if a committed relationship is important to you before you get into a sexual relationship, then you should honor how you feel. In fact, you should have this discussion with yourself before you ever get together for that first drink. That way, you won’t feel pressured or unsure about what it is you want to do.
If your relationship seems to be heading towards a physical relationship, then have an open discussion about what each of your expectations are, and where you see the relationship headed. It’s much better to have this honesty before you jump into bed so that no one gets hurt because their expectations are more than the other person.
You should also have a discussion with your date about what your expectations are. If you just want to have sex then tell your date that’s all you are after. While they may not like it, they’ll be glad that you were honest with them. You should also have an open discussion about whether protected sex is important to you.
STD’s are a huge problem these days. If you aren’t sure if you are ready for sex or not, fear over sexually transmitted diseases might cause you to decide to wait to have sex. Then again, you might be ready for a sexual relationship with the right precautions.
If you make it the “couple” state, and you haven’t yet had sex, it is time to talk about your boundaries both physically and emotionally. If you are in agreeance, sex can be an important part of a consensual committed relationship.
Just because you’re 50+, it doesn’t mean you are ready for a sexual relationship. Don’t rush into anything that you are not ready for.